Season 11 - Week 5

The Smith train rolls on…

 Choo choo all aboard the Smith train, stopping at Maradona Title Broadway, Overall Title Forest and Highest Score St Pancras. Another away winner gives Jimmy Smith a gargantuan £6.36 lead at the top of the overall league and £7.25 clear of second in the Maradona League…. Here’s to hoping I jinx him with the over-elaborate praise. With only Simms (£5.14) and Dunk (£4.25) above £3 Jimmy is bucking the trend in a season where we are all finding the going tough. 65% of us failed to find a winner this week, losing a whopping £34.56 between us.

 

Smellé Pelé

 

The Pele League is stinking up the place with only one person (Shakespeare) in positive figures. With only Cornwall and Shakespeare finding winners this week the league is embarrassing at best.

 

Sticky Wickett

 

Andrew Wickett is the only person yet to find a winner this season… that’s it really, you’re so rubbish you should be in the Pele League……

 

Girls girls girls

 

Below is a league of the girls (I just took the names that sounded like girls, apologies for any glaring inclusions [cough] or omissions).

 

Lisa Bradbury

2.4

Darren Clare

0.79

Michelle Hastie

0.06

Julia Ingham

-0.07

donna murray

-0.35

Kelly Besant

-1.39

 

Picks of the Week

 

Grant Elder – Hamilton to beat Hearts 3.00 – What a pick from our shouty Scot

Matt Wilkinson – Stoke to beat Man City 3.00 – A new boy in the holding league fires a shot across the bows

John Fields – Chester to beat Gillingham 2.37 – Against the form book, but on the day Chester were bester.

Robert Heseltine – Northampton to beat Leicester 2.25 -  Cobblers, no it’s true they won…. Our Season 10 winner shows he has not lost his touch on his charge up the leagues

Jimmy Smith / Chris Cornwall – MK away at Cheltenham 2.10  – Another winner for the Franchisees who are seeking to return to their (cough) previous heights.

Ian Booth – Derby to beat Coventry 2.10 – Derby are rubbish… but then again Coventry appear to be rubbisher, good win.

 

Where are they now?

 

In a new feature we profile a previous star, who has fallen to new lows.  This week Tony Southworth. Tony shot to fame in Season 3, winning both the Pele and Overall title, the fame unfortunately went to his head, and his picks slowly deteriorated as the drugs*, drink and sex** took over his life. 

 

Following unsuccessful stints picking in the Scottish and Spanish leagues he slid down to the Dickov League as his life hit rock bottom. Things were not looking good for our former champ and he was seen shuffling the streets of Manchester muttering lines from an old Milk advert (....Exactly).

 

There is however a glint of light at the end of the tunnel, as after a period in picking rehab he has shown glimpses of his previous form and has fought his way back up to the Lineker League where he currently sits mid-table poised for a late promotion push. We are all aware though that he was one bad pick away from his previous picking peril and our thoughts go out to Tony and his family in these difficult times.

 

* some elements of this story have been sexed up for entertainment purposes only

** for example this part

 

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