WE ARE BACK -F***ING YES!!!!!!!!! -Season 29 - Week 1

OMG Its back. Its here! thank F**k for that I was going f**king mental, I was losing my F**king mind. I was at the end of my F**king tether. Life was so sh*t I thought whats the F**king point. Thank F**k 2014 is a world cup year cos with a little luck F**king England will get through and give us something to watch for the first couple of F**king rounds. I bald from pulling my F**king hair out. I've bitten off all my F**king fingernails racked with F**king boredom at life without football.....and I developed this F**king anger issue!!!!!!!!So thank the mighty lord for the start of the football season once again. Where's my tablets....are there they are...if I can only unstrap this straight jacket I can begin properly.

So where do we start. A bad decision that's where. Every bet I had this weekend, my talksport prediction my super 6 prediction all had Villa to beat arsenal I thought it was a banker they would lose. Benteke is in every dream team I've picked...and what do I do chicken out and go for a safe Man Utd pick while Tony Griffiths, also a visionary of the 21st century, had the huge hairy ballbags to go for it and takes a huge 7.50 lead in week one. Well done you.

League by league it went like this

Pele

Loads won here as I was going down the list I thought they were all going to win at one point. Tony did the best with pick of the week WART did well with Fulham away @2.25 and dan cook made a solid start with Leicester away @1.75. The half horse half man that is Dave won as did James Delahunt & Tom Kerr. Gonna be a very competitive league this year me thinks.

Maradona

Again a good start 6 winners out of 8. Ian Menzies lead the way with Southampton and Ricky Lambert @2.30. Allt he others netted under £1.00 but a win is a win. They were David lloyd, Nick Lines, Nigel Howlett, Sohail Virdi & a certain Mr Southworth.

Dalglish

Four winners here. All fairly liberal but good to get a win in week one and get the ball rolling. Mervyn Davies & James Hollands balls are rolling furthest at the moment. I recommend savlon. Dickson pato & Craig Lowe also won to get on the board.

Shearer

Less winners as we get lower down the leagues. Three here I lead the way with a poxy 90p which should have been 7.50 if I was a real man!! Robert Paton & Ayako Ono also winners.

Lineker

Just one for the ladies here. Steph Cook showed how to do it with Leicester away @1.75. good going Steph the only winner.

Gascoigne

Three winners in this league. GEEGEE leads the way with safe man Utd pick @0.90.

The other Cook also won dad Darryn with Safe Spurs away @0.80 and Duncan with ultra safe Chelsea @0.22

Pineapple Lee

Jim Mclean was only winner with scottish pick of Montrose to beat Annan away @1.2

New league Ali dia

Three winners here notably Phil Hocknell who went for the Norwich Everton draw @2.30. Chris Cann went for ultra ultra safe barca pick @ 0.09!! Hodgie333 went Spurs away @0.80.

So an interesting start. My view is this there are some teams who should just save us a lot of trouble and go down now. The three who came up look out of their depth and Newcastle look in trouble can't compete and keep 11 men on the pitch. Fulham will finish top ten I like the look of Chelsea I think they may win it and man city looked good. Arsenal well if they don't buy now they're f**ked.

Personnel wise: I liked the look of Chadli at spurs – De Bruyne at Chelsea and Lukaku – RVP at Man utd (again) – Barkley – Everton.

And ladies and gentlemen to finish please bow your head for the man who single handedly is bringing a smile to the faces of all premiership fans this year the delightfully named striker for Norwich City take a bow RICKY VAN WOLFSWINKEL.

It will end a lot of arguments as everyone who you mean when you say ' and as for that cock at Norwich.......'

See you next time.
Al

 

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